Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Boobs are out for the taking
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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