We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
