Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
