I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
