Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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