dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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