Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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