sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Enjoy the penises
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
