Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
whose ass print is on the piano?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
