farters have to be the big spoon...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
