addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
