Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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