Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
