Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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