Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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