becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
