I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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