they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
