Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
