Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
