I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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