Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
we're so committed to being not committed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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