What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
