So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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