I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
