she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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