i barfeds in our rink
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Randomize
