I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
