I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sext me about skeletons
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
