i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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