You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
