Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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