I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
