mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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