I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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