I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
