Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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