Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
