im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
