Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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