3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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