I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
