Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
