We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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