Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I forget how to act sober
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
