I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
