She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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