We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
