Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
