his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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