at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
